When sex goes very, very wrong

Researchers at Flinders University have revealed how the intimate act of sexual intercourse first evolved in our deep distant ancestors. Courtesy Flinders Creations

When sex goes wrong ... New TV show details couples embarrassing and awkward sexual encounters. Picture: Supplied. Source: Supplied

IF you thought the TV show Embarrassing Bodies was bad, wait until you see Sex Sent Me to the ER detailing couples embarrassing sexual antics.

Sex Sent Me to the ER, a second series of four episodes to premiere on the TV network TLC, will reveal the real life horror stories from between the sheets or, as is often the case, elsewhere that end up in a visit to a hospital.

International Business Times reported that production company GRB Entertainment wanted to make the show to see how couples cope when things don't go to plan.

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Alarm at the firehouse ... Firefighter Clayton (inset, with partner Heather) had a tryst that went awry. Picture: Picture: Alaina Filo / TLC Source: Supplied

"The show is retold by emergency room physicians and the actual couples who, in the heat of the moment, got themselves into a fix and needed a doctor to fix it," the network explained.

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So how bad are some of these stories?

In the first episode viewers meet Gregg, a 24-year-old virgin whose girlfriend, Jen, wanted to take their relationship to the next level. However Gregg who weighs 199.6kg (440 pounds) didn't quite realise his strength.

Their first time resulted in Gregg accidentally sending his girlfriend's head through the wall.

The pain of sex ... Andrew, who had to have seven stitches in his chin, plus an Orange-sized scrotum, and Francine in a re-enactment for Sex Sent Me to the ER. Picture: Alaina Filo / TLC Source: Supplied

"My initial reaction was, 'I killed her,'" Gregg told the New York Post. "'This is my first time. And Jen is dead.'"

Fortunately for Jen she lived to tell the tale managing to pull her head out of the wall. But a trip to the ER revealed she has concussion.

In another sexual adventure that goes badly awry, New York band mates Andrew, a 40-year-old guitarist, and singer Francine, 29, found themselves jiggy jiggy on a drum set stool before passed out from their effort. Andrew awoke, promptly fell off a sofa, splitting his chin open on a coffee table.

Sex Sent me to the ER ... Francine and Andrew had sexual intercourse on a drum stool that ended with Andrew in hospital with a split chin and a swollen scrotum. Picture: Alaina Filo / TLC Source: Supplied

But that was not the worst of it. The still pants-less Andrew stood up and Francine exclaimed: "Oh shit!". Part of Andrew's privates had swollen to the size of an orange. Even able to put back on his pants, he had to borrow Francine's skirt to wear to the hospital.

In another episode, 28-year-old Heather wanted to give Denver-based firefighter Clayton a sexy surprise for his 30th birthday last March, so she showed up at the fire station where he works with a box of adult toys.

But fun with a gag turned to panic when Clayton's jaw locked and the toy got stuck in his mouth, restricting his breathing.

His fellow firefighters tried unsuccessfully, in-between bouts of laughter, to wiggle it out.

"After that, they were like, 'Oh, my God, we've got to get you to the hospital,' " Clayton said.

And yes, he is still ribbed about it at work to this day.

Other stories include an orgasm that went on and on … for two hours. There's also the couple who falls into a grave while copulating in a cemetery, an amorous duo that gets bitten by a giant centipede during the deed, and the man whose head feels like it's splitting open when he has an orgasm.

Then there's the pair who role play as cops and robbers and end up in the ER when the woman suffers a very unusual pain.

And finally there's the man who, in his haste to have sex, grabs the wrong tube and then discovered his hand had welded itself to his manhood with the help of superglue.

When ER physician, Dr Bob Slay saw a cheating lawyer with his genitals the size of a softball, he exclaimed "wow".

"I kept asking if he wanted pain medicine and he kept saying, 'No,' " said Slay, in an episode to be screened on Sex Sent Me to the ER. "He enjoyed the pain."

The lawyer refused to say what happened and then his mistress ran into the ward and spilt the beans.

The man's wife had stopped by his office for a lunch date and had caught the pair engaged in S & M. She then gave her cheating spouse a swift kick to the groin that landed him in the ER.

The patient's manhood was saved by surgery, but his marriage wasn't so lucky — his wife announced in the ER she would be seeking a divorce, with his mistress, who also happened to be an attorney, representing her after bonding with her in the waiting area.

"Karma did come full circle on this particular gentleman that day," Slay said.

Private part the size of a softball ... Doctor Bob Slay and a nurse try to stop Thomas' wife and mistress fighting as he "enjoys the pain". Picture: Alaina Filo / TLC Source: Supplied

We are indebted to Metro UK for the following 10 examples, gathered froma round the world and from Sex Sent Me to the ER.

10. A woman in China was left deaf for two months from kissing. The act of sucking face "reduced the pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear" reported the China Daily.

9. More embarrassing than painful, a couple got stuck together having sex in the sea when the suction caused a vacuum and the guy could not get out, so to speak.

8. Hearing watermelon is an aphrodisiac, a man applied the juice to his penis. His girlfriend was badly allergic but it was too late to stop the man's ardour.

7. A woman in Seattle was hospitalised after suffering from a three hour orgasm.

6. Wanting to surprise her husband, a woman turned up at his work with a box of sex toys for a naughty birthday treat. One gag and a locked jaw causing choking later in the staffroom.

5. A man was admitted to hospital complaining of rectal pain. Turns out that yes it does hurt when you pour liquid cement into your body and it solidifies.

4. Wanting to be a little more adventurous, a man indulged in a little outdoor sex with his wife. The result was that the man had to go to hospital to have a lizard removed after it had sneaked into his penis.

3. Never make your own sex toys. A man decided to stick a light bulb somewhere and it smashed. He only just escaped with his life.

2. Men with slightly small appendages — just be grateful for what you've got. One Malaysian man decided his wasn't big enough and thought something should be done. So he stuck it in a welding nut and tried to stretch it. Sadly, he got stuck, forcing doctors to remove the top layer of penis skin to free it.

1. A couple in America decided to ramp up their vibrator by attaching it to a power tool. An electric saw. The woman had to be rushed to the ER. Thankfully she recovered and would be unlikely to try that again.

The four-part series Sex Sent Me to the ER will premiere on TLC on Saturday, December 28, at 10pm. Encore presentations can be caught on Discovery Fit & Health on Fridays at 10pm starting January 3.

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