’There ain’t nothing lucky about that’

Written By komlim puldel on Sabtu, 31 Januari 2015 | 20.01

A life coach can compliment all other areas of your life. Source: Getty Images

PEOPLE come to me as a life coach for a multitude of reasons. They hate their job. They feel stuck in a bad relationship. They are crippled by fear and social comparison. They know that they are not living a life that is true to themself and are desperate to reconnect to who they really are.

In fact, my life-coaching friends and I agree that we have never had a similar client twice. This is no surprise given that everyone is unique and has his or her own story. But what does come up again and again are three key themes. These themes to not discriminate against gender, age, income bracket or any other things that seemingly make us all different. We are all much more similar than we realise.

Yes — you ARE allowed to be happy and enjoy life. Source: Supplied

Here are the three most common questions I get:

1. How do I overcome my fear?

Ah, fear. Wise old Mr Shakespeare famously said, "Our doubts are traitors, and would make us lose the good we met oft win, by fearing to attempt." There is good news and bad news on the fear question.

Let's start with the bad. Fear never, ever actually leaves us. If we had no more fears left than we would have nothing left to do here on earth. Before your first kiss, job interview, apartment, public speech, time you drove a car, took a vacation without your parents — anything — you were scared. But you did it. And it was easier the next time. And even easier each time from then onwards. To experience fears is a part of growth and life. The assignments get bigger but our fear remains. That is normal.

The good news is that you can manage your fear. Fearlessness might be a temporary feeling but understand that it is not lasting. Remember that fear means that you are doing something. Some experts say that fear is a natural response to you moving closer to your truth. You can allow fear into your life, acknowledge it but don't let allow it in the driving seat. You can say, "yes I am afraid but I am doing it anyway." Action cures fear. And the action part is entirely up to you. So take some sooner rather than later.

Cure your fears in every realm. Source: News Limited

2. Is it OK for me to want what I want?

This question is twofold. It typically means a blend of, "do I have permission to actualise my dreams?" and "am I being selfish if I pursue what I want in my life?"

The answer is yes, you do have permission — but you need to give it to yourself. No one can give it to you. So don't wait! The wonderful part is that you can decide today, right now, that you have full and complete permission to follow your dreams. This does not mean be reckless — quit your job, buy a one-way ticket to Paris and abandon your family. It means you can clear on what your dreams are, what you have the flexibility to do right now and then take action on that path. Momentum creates momentum. The journey starts with your very first step (even a Google search counts)! You would be amazed at how much time you have when you ditch the TV, have a social media hiatus or get up a little earlier. Khaled Hosseini wrote The Kite Runner while working for a hospital. Sara Blakely created Spanx while selling fax machines full time. Do what you can with what you have. There is always a way to get creative in juggling your responsibilities while developing your aspirations.

It is NOT SELFISH when you do what you love. When you allow your interests and passion to surface you become a better parent, friend, spouse. Try it for a few weeks and see. Holding back on what you have to offer the world is selfish. Show us what you got!

It's not selfish to do what you love, whatever that might be! Source: Getty Images

3. Am I talented or just lucky?

People who seek coaching are typically high producing and prolific in their field. They have experienced a good level of success and want to get further, faster. It is also no secret that most C-Suite Executives have career coaches (often within their organisation's budget).

The other question that comes up a lot is, "did I achieve my success because I really am smart or was it just a series of good luck/knowing the right people/just going for it?" Funnily enough, I was recently reading about a psychic in LA and she said that her celebrity clients question whether their big paychecks and blockbuster movies are a reflection of their talent of if good old lady luck was just shining upon them in the right moment.

The answer is simple. You attract what you focus on. Your natural gifts, energy and attention are your currency. They materialise into form once you get busy. Life works with you when you believe you are capable and focus on what you want — you meet people who can help you, opportunities arise out of the blue and your confidence naturally grows along the way. If you want to write, act, become a VP of an ad sales business no-one is going to come to your home, knock on your door and say, "I believe a talented writer/actor/sales leader lives here … This way to the top."

People who get what they want must believe in the first place that it is possible, that they have what it takes to excel and let their actions align with their goals. And they work their butt off. Ain't nothin' lucky about that. Its called living your life by design, not by default. You earned every inch of your success, smarty pants.

Want your own business? It IS possible. Source: ThinkStock

So remember this. Fear is natural but you can tame it. You give yourself permission to succeed, no one else can. And only you know what success means to you. And nothing, nothing replaces the power of action. Get busy doing what makes you happy. And watch the rest unfold as its supposed to.

If all else fails foster a little perspective. This is what the Ancient Greeks used to do — what they called "practising death every day". In 40, 50 or 60 or so years from now you will be dead, just like everyone else. What does your doubt, need for permission and delay matter then? Exactly.

More: www.susie-moore.com


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